Pregnancy and Delivery Thoughts

Some thoughts about pregnancy and delivery have been rambling around my head lately, and I wanted to write them down before I forgot.  Because Mom-brain is a real thing, y'all.  Don't underestimate it.  Here we go.

• Pregnancy is most likely not what you thought it'd be.  Some people have terrible morning sickness.  Some people experience huge weight gains.  I always thought I would gain a lot of weight and be super bloated.  I wasn't entirely wrong, as I was pregnant during one of the worst (at least it felt that way to me) summers we've had as far as heat and humidity.  I gained approximately 40 pounds while pregnant.  My ankles were swollen pretty much the entire time, and from the second trimester on, I had terrible heartburn. I've never had heartburn before, and it was awful.  Every. Single. Day.  Then, once I delivered, I haven't had it since.  The human body does weird things while pregnant.  It's best to remind yourself it's temporary.  
• Ultrasounds are few and far between.  I had exactly two ultrasounds when I was pregnant - once at 8 weeks, and once at 20 weeks.  That was it, even though I'd had a miscarriage the November before.  We heard my baby's heartbeat at every visit, which was reassuring, but didn't get to see the baby very much at all.  I get that it wasn't medically necessary, but still.  I was expecting more ultrasounds.  
• The 20 week ultrasound is a doozy.  It must have been just me, but that ultrasound was not very fun.  I mean, it was fun leading up to it because I knew we'd find out the gender, but the actual ultrasound was not.  You have to have a full bladder for the ultrasound, and did I mention it's for an hour?  Please tell a 20 week pregnant lady to keep her bladder full for an hour and think that's just going to be okay.  I literally thought I would pee on the table and told the ultrasound tech as much.  She wasn't too sympathetic and said, "Well, you'd be the first."  I was fully prepared to hold that title.  Surprisingly, I didn't.  But still.  No one tells you that.  
• So. Much. Bloodwork.  I don't know if it was just me, but I was in getting bloodwork done all the time.  Or doing the glucose tests (oh yes, I had to do the 1 hour and 4 hour).  The phlebotomist literally knew me by name.  The good news is that they have a terrible time drawing my blood, so we got to know each other quite well.  
• Write out a birth plan, but be prepared to throw it out the window.  I'm glad I didn't have an actual written birth plan.  I knew it was a good idea I didn't because I didn't even deliver in the same HOSPITAL as I wanted to.   I'd list everything that went according to my birth plan, but that list would be empty.  They did ask me my must have's, and thankfully I only had two (skin-to-skin once baby came, and Greg cutting the umbilical cord), which they respected.  Good intentions are wonderful, but have no place in a delivery room.
• They mean it when they say ask for the epidural early.  I wasn't going to have an epidural.  I guess that went right.  When I was sobbing for it at 6 cm dilated, they said okay.  I thanked God in heaven.  Then, somewhere else in the hospital, someone needed an emergency C-section.  By the time the anesthesiologist got to my room, I was 10 cm dilated and already pushing.  I literally saw the Dr. wave them off as if I didn't see them come into the room.  It ended up working out, but a natural birth hurts.  Like woah.  
• Once the baby comes, that doesn't mean the hard part is over.  I literally heard from everyone I knew that once baby comes, the hard part is over.  For me, that wasn't the case.  Part of the reason Caleb was early is there was an infection in the placenta.  Which meant it didn't just slide out after he was born.  It was hard and painful and there was talk of surgery if it didn't come out.  *TMI ALERT* Thankfully, some Dr. who I met about 4 hours earlier was able to literally reach up and scrape out the rest of the placenta.  Oh yes.  That happened.  Ouch.  I couldn't tell you that Dr.'s name but I am appreciative of her.  
• After delivery, you are delirious.  At least I was.  They were trying to tell me everything that happened with Caleb and what he would need and why he had complications, but I couldn't focus on anything.  I'm so glad Greg was there to retain all of that information, because they would've needed to tell me about 5 more times for it to sink in.  
• Even with complications, you aren't in the hospital long.  I suffered quite a bit of blood loss and couldn't stand on my own, but less than 24 hours later I was discharged from the hospital.  Granted, they wanted to discharge me ASAP so we could go down to Ann Arbor to join Caleb, but it still shocked me how quickly I was discharged.  Remember when I said I didn't get the epidural?  I was glad at this point I didn't, so my recovery was easier.  
• Breastfeeding is hard.  I'm not sure I can have an opinion on this, because I was never able to actually breastfeed.  They took him away to Ann Arbor at first, and then I had to pump because he was on IV fluids.  I think it was about a week in before they were giving him milk but they wanted it pumped, and once we were released we needed to fortify the milk with formula so I still pumped.  Four weeks in Caleb stopped taking breastmilk (we think because I had an infection), and that was that.   Just like everything else, breastfeeding may not be what you think it will be.
• NICU nurses are the best.  Truly.  They took such good of my son, both in Covenant and at Ann Arbor.  They are compassionate and understanding and patient, and they want the best for you and your baby.  Not five hours after giving birth and still in a wheelchair, they were patient and let me hold my son, tubes and wires and all, as much as I could until the flight team came and took him on his first helicopter ride.  
• NICU life is much different than regular life.  NICU life is on a 3 hour check schedule.  The doctors and surgeons do rounds early in the morning, and I'm not sure their schedules because I saw the same ones for days on end.   You want to bond with the other parents in the NICU, but literally can't because of HIPAA regulations.  Your nurses are your advocates if you need help.  We were in room 41 - which means there were at least 40 other rooms (and there were more than that) of babies needing intensive care.  You overhear that they aren't sure if they have room for another transfer.  You see all of the tubes and wires and oxygen and medicines that these babies are hooked up to.  So. Many. IVs.  So many wires.  You can't even see the babies under all of them.  And half the time they are so tiny anyway.  You walk onto the floor and you can sense the sheer exhaustion.  The small hopes that people have to cling to.  The strength they dig deep to find.  You want perspective?  Visit a children's hospital.  Not even the NICU floor, just a children's hospital, and look around.  See all of the children that need care.  Realize how amazingly blessed you are.
• Your definition of superhero changes.  At Mott, they have Superman and Spiderman figures in the lobby.  The kids love them.  But to me, they aren't superheroes.  The real superheroes are the babies and children fighting for their lives every day.  The real hero is my son, who had two surgeries within three days of his life and fought to gain weight to be released.  He's been through so much already, and we have a little more to go.  But he's a fighter.  He's a victor.  And he's my hero.  The least I can do is love him the best I can.