Say Something.

I feel like, even in the middle of summer, this time of year will always be hard for me.  Not only did we lose Greg's cousin Jason to suicide in late June last year, the anniversary of Robin Williams' death is coming up in a few days (August 11th).  As you may recall, his death hit me a lot harder than most deaths have, and it is still resonating.

Since last year, I've been increasingly vocal about my struggle with depression and tried to spread the word to #stopthestigma around mental illness.  Often it's treated as a shameful thing, or something that one can "snap out of" or "just feel better."  But it's so much more than that, and with the power of social media and the internet, I now know just how not alone I am.

1 in 4 people in their lives will experience some sort of mental illness, yet we still don't talk about it.  At it's most basic, mental illness is the feeling of being alone.  Like no one else has gone through what you're going through, like no one else has felt what you are feeling.  And maybe, that no one else has the extreme lack of feeling that you have.  It's a solitary disease, and one that makes sure, through the symptoms, that you remain alone.  If you are depressed, you physically don't feel like going out.  All you want to do is sleep.  You are exhausted all the time.  All signs point to the solitary existence that takes over.

I read a quote recently that says suicide doesn't stop the pain - it just transfers it to someone else.  I think that is so true.  It's hard to realize at the time, because you feel so utterly alone in the world, but you aren't.  And even if they don't show it, there are a ton of people who are feeling your absence.  I see it with all of the people that hurt when they think of Greg's cousin Jason.  So many lives touched by how he took his.  Did he know that would happen? Did he realize that we are still feeling it, a year later?  How we'll continue to feel it?

But in that pain, in that world, you don't.  You assume no one cares.  Why might someone come to that conclusion?  Because they feel people don't care when they're alive.  Because others don't know how to bring it up, they don't bring it up at all.  To avoid being uncomfortable or embarrassed, they shove the problem into the background.  And in a world where you already feel alone, when no one talks about what's going on, it just makes it worse.  And in a world where it's not okay to talk about being depressed or having a mental illness, it's hard to bring it up.

It's time we opened up about how we feel.  It's time we stop judging others for their struggles, because if we look at ourselves, we have struggles too.  And sometimes they're more front and center, and sometimes no one knows about them.  In either case, the struggle exists.  If we all support each other, we can take steps towards healing.

I know it sounds like a big task to undertake.  But sometimes, truly, it's not.  It's a text, or a phone call.  Not even about depression, or mental illness.  Sometimes it's just a "Hey" or something about their job or their favorite sports team or their pet.  Sometimes it's just the fact that someone thought of you, and cares enough to ask about you.  And when you get close through these little conversations, ask how they're doing.  At first, they won't tell you a thing.  They'll pretend all is fine.  But I hope you know how important those little conversations are.  I hope you know the solid base you're building with that person.  Because when they do need help, when they do feel at the end of their fight, you just might be the person they reach out to.  Because you've proven you care.  They know they can count on you.  You may have no idea the struggle they are facing.  But you're about to.  And being there for someone is the best thing you can do.

I'm so encouraged by all of the stories that are coming out, all of the struggles brought into the light.  Only when things are in the light can we face them, and defeat them.  Satan works best in those dark, solitary places.  Don't allow him to overwhelm you.  Come into the light, and allow God and others to show you there's a better way.  John 1:5 - "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  It doesn't mean the fight is over - probably far from it.  But at least you'll know you have a team of supporters.  And when you fall to the bottom, they'll be there to hold out a hand.  Allow them to.  Talk about it.  Let them remind you that you are a child of God, and you are wholly and deeply loved.  Cling to that in the hard times.  Rejoice in it in the good times.

But above all, let's talk about it.  So we all know, deep in our hearts, we're not alone.

**If you need someone to talk to, please contact me.  I'd be happy to speak with you about your struggle, and share mine.  #stopthestigma